BREATHE N BOUNCE

STAND UP FOR TRUTH: Why we bullshit ourselves and others EPCLIV

 Today,I talk about how we all lie about everything usually to make ourselves and others feel better.  I speak about how that doesn't help anyone and keeps the comfort trap going.  I also talk about my own experience with lying to myself about my role in the yoga world, and other parts of my life where I had to be more honest about things.
 
Hello, all my stoners out there. Hello to you. Thank you for tuning in to Breathe and Bounce. My name is Michael. I am the star of the show. I am the one that makes the drinks. I'm the one that. Loads the bongs. Okay, all right. We're not going there. That was that was an old character. Sorry. Anyway, thank you for joining us today. It's funny that I talk about that old character. So today, the show we're talking about is the lies that we tell ourselves, and the lies that we tell other people-that's what today's show is about. I guess the big question is why do we feel this need to lie? Now, not everyone lies about everything, but we tell little white lies. Don't say that you don't because you do. You have maybe you don't anymore. I remember. I felt I I wanted to live this dream life when I was in junior high. I wanted to go to concerts, and there was one concert in particular I really wanted to go to, and it was Dio, Megadeth, and Sabotage. And I ended up watching the Dio part on Headbander's Ball because they had a special. So I said I went to the concert. I don't know. I wanted to look cool with my friends. I went to a concert. I had no T-shirts, had no proof, but people bought it, and I think it's because that's kind of what I wanted was to be that. And I think we all like to tell lies, and we like to exaggerate things, and we like to do things so people will see us in a more positive light. I think we also like to lie to ourselves about who we truly are as well, and I think it's easier for us to lie to ourselves about who we are at essence because the fiction is always easier to digest in the truth, and the fiction is beautiful because the fiction is what makes people excited. It gets people emotionally invested. The truth, truth not so much. I mean, sometimes if the truth is salacious enough and gaudy enough, sure people will buy into it. And sometimes we don't even know if that is the truth. We live in a society of lies, don't we? I mean, look at all the tabloids. You know, those are right there at the grocery store. You'll see the National Enquirer, and you'll see something that says like bringing Ronald Reagan back to life or some shit like that, and you're like, how the fuck are they gonna do that? But I think the truth of the matter is, is fiction is easier to take than truth. I think it's easier to take than truth when you're dealing with your role models in sports and TV, I mean, especially when you're a kid. I mean, it's so much easier to believe that there's a fictitious red man in a suit jumping around from house to house, going down chimneys, giving people presents, rather than knowing it's your parents. Oh my God, my parents did this shit for me. But it's still a loving gesture. But we do these little things. We tell these little stories because it makes everything more beautiful. Makes everything more digestible. It comes with the territory of who we are, and we might be very self-involved, selfish. We might be very conceited, and all these things. But we like to tell people that we're not. But I think inside of us, a lot of us can be. I think a lot of us can be judgmental. I think there's a lot of people that can, you know, think different things about certain people, and I think we eventually, when we become honest about these parts of us, that's when we have the opportunity to take action and possibly get away from those parts, and that's hard to do once again because you know bullshit is easier to swallow than the truth, and I know that sounds disgusting to eat bullshit, but I guess it tastes better. I think a bunch of like companies want to give you bullshit that some of the food you're eating is really healthier than when it's not. I think. People want to give you bullshit that if you buy Gucci, if you buy Louis Vuitton, you're going to be better than other people.

VOW OF EXCELLENCE: Making the promise to do your best and actually succeed ECLVIII

 I have come to the conclusion of I have not been doing everything I can to be my best self.  I am very defensive and reactive and I have had some time to reflect on this.  So I talk about that and I speak on what I am willing to do to change it.
 
The speaker reflected on personal struggles with emotional fragility and reactivity, especially during recent life 'storms.'
Acknowledged a pattern of overreacting to criticism and being defensive, often hurting loved ones in the process.
Recognized the need for a stronger personal foundation and more consistent mindfulness practices.
Admitted to lapses in self-care routines like yoga and meditation, and the impact of negative self-talk and past trauma.
Emphasized the importance of self-assessment, accepting discomfort as part of growth, and making conscious efforts to change.
Stressed that real change requires personal responsibility and cannot be expected from others.
Expressed a desire to be more mindful, less reactive, and to practice what is preached, especially in relationships.
Highlighted the value of having supportive loved ones and the motivation they provide for self-improvement.
Invited listeners to join in the journey of self-work and mutual encouragement.
Concluded with a message of hope, perseverance, and the importance of ongoing effort in personal growth.
Being fragile is not always the worst thing in the world, but I when we talk about the storms that affected the Fourth of July, we think about the trees. Some of those trees broke, and some of those didn't, and the ones that broke were the ones that didn't have a solid foundation. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, I have not been built on a solid foundation for a long time. I keep trying to solidify that foundation in my life, and storms come and shipwreck me. And when that happens, I do not react well with it. I do not act mindfully. I do not act as much as I talk on the show. I really fuck it up, and a lot of it is because I really have not been working on my mindfulness lately. I have not been working on what I need to be working on, and I think I'm gonna have to go back to the mat for that, but I think it goes beyond that. I think it goes beyond the fact that growing up as a child I never thought I was good enough for anybody, and some of that was in my own head, and over the last few decades my body of work professionally says that all that shit was in my head, because I've done things that are pretty cool, you know. I had a public access show, and on this public access show, I was able to interview people with the likes of, like, Rob Zombie and Slayer, and those were not easy interviews to come by, but I got them. I would put together all age shows, and I did it with a very limited budget, and at one point it started to become profitable. So, it makes me think about maybe I should go back into that, I was out of my ass, fired, not knowing what my future was going to be, and I ended up building a pretty strong school transportation company, and then because we needed extra money, I built a good airport transportation company, and this is all stuff that I should be proud of, and this is all stuff that I should say to myself, "Damn, that's fucking good, Mike, but it's not enough, and the reason why it's not enough is because that foundation isn't strong. Last week we talked about loving yourself and finding yourself, and I find myself, but then I lose track of what's important because of the storms that come my way when I get criticized, when I get called out for past behavior, when I talk about, you know, things not going well, I don't handle it well at all. I yell, I accuse people of shit, I do a lot, and yes, I'm a work in progress, and yes, I've. Made improvement, but I think what it comes down to for me is that foundation I have found a moral compass, but that moral compass has to be stronger. Part of the reason why I made so many mistakes in my younger years, because I didn't have one, I didn't really give myself boundaries, I didn't give myself any lead way, I just basically did whatever the fuck I wanted to, and when people got me mad, I would, I would fire back, and I would even go on to say, if there were people that I fired back at that seemed like they were going to beat the shit out of me. I kind of cowered a little bit, and that has not served me at all. It has not served loved ones in my life. It has not served anybody. So, I think the first thing I have to realize is how fragile I truly am. How sensitive I really am. I have to have an understanding of what am I going to do about that, because I think ultimately that's where we have to start, is we have to start with that self-assessment. We have to start with that feeling of understanding that we can be tough, we can be strong, but we're not at this moment. That's part of the reason why I go to the gym, is because I get try to get myself stronger, I try to get myself in better shape. But what am I doing to get my mind in better shape right now? Do I go to therapy? That's great.   meditate from time to time, that's great, but it's not when I.. it's not consistent. I stopped going to yoga, and I stopped going to yoga because a lot of the nuances of yoga have pissed me off, and I just saw a lot of judgmental folks there, and I'm like, How do I know they're not judging me? Well, what I need to say to myself, is who cares what they say about me. I need to, I need to get into this. I need to go back, because I think that's something that helps, that calmness, that stillness, that feeling of just being with yourself, learning how to breathe with one movement, one breath. I got to get back there, because I cannot live my life fragile forever. I have to become stronger. There are people counting on me, and most of all, I need to be able to count on myself, so I So, how do I move forward? How do I continue to move forward when I have gone through everything that I've gone through? When I have brought people down with me, you know, I may not be the same person I was before, but there are still parts of that same person here now, and they are parts that are no longer serving me. There are parts that are not helping me in my cause. They are not parts that are helping anything. You see, it's a matter of just understanding that I fall down all the time, I fall down, I lose my temper, I can be really persistent, I can be really crazy, I do a lot of stupid shit when I, when I get, and I think maybe it is the BPD, because there is that fear that that person's never going to speak to me again, and I, but that's something I know, so if I know that, then I can use that to my advantage to saying, okay, are these people really never going to be there again? I need to start asking myself questions, I need to start asking myself facts, I need to start understanding what's reality and what's fiction, and that's what happens all the time when I have these issues, and I walk around every day of my life with this fight, this reality verse fiction fight, it's happening all the time for me, because someone could say hello to me, I want to talk to you, and the first thing I do is my mind goes to a bad place, if someone says something critical of me, I get fucking agitated, a friend of mine once told me to become butter, and I have not done a good job with that. I hold everything in my heart that people say to me, I care so much, and I think it's because I do that. It, that's why I continue to fall down, but the thing about falling down that's beautiful is you have the chance to get back up, but I have fallen down and gone back up so many fucking times in my life, I don't know how much more you can do it, I don't know how much more is in me, am I just an epic failure in life, or am I a tough son of a bitch? The whole thing to me is just really hard. Life is hard, adulting is hard when you've been in defense mode your entire life. It's so hard to surrender. It's so hard to just let go, and it's my inability to let go that makes me to continue to fall down. Think the hardest part for me is giving into the temptation, giving into the temptation of needing that, I guess, that feeling of being right, feeling just, feeling like my feelings matter, and my feelings do matter. When my feelings get hurt, that sucks. But there's a difference between someone saying something to you and making you feel like shit because of something you did, and someone just saying something to you and just making you feel like shit, and sometimes maybe I cannot differentiate between the two.
 
 

TIME TO GO MOFO: How I have made tough decisions and changes in my life EPCLVII

 We need to just jump out of our seat and make changes when life sucks.  It's scary as shit, and we may regret for a moment, but that can all go away.  Then there's the beautiful thing.  You can make a change if you screw up.  Its not that biggie.  But nothing ever changes if you sit still.
 
 
Transcript
https://otter.ai/u/j2KgG3U4ogB2nw9dWuD6pIuRunc?view=summary
Overview
Michael from Breathe and Bounce discusses the concept of moving forward in life, emphasizing that progress is constant even when it feels stagnant. He explores various life transitions, such as breakups, job changes, and emancipation, highlighting the challenges and rewards associated with each. Michael shares personal anecdotes, including his experiences with career shifts and the importance of self-love and decisive action. He encourages listeners to embrace change, take risks, and find the courage to turn the page, stressing that the ultimate win is self-love and personal growth.
Outline
Moving Forward in Life
Speaker 1 introduces the show as a fun episode after a series of dark and gritty shows.
Emphasizes the concept of moving forward in life, even when it feels like standing still.
Discusses the idea that people are always moving towards something, even during difficult times.
Mentions various life challenges such as abuse, homelessness, and natural disasters.
Breakups and Transitions
Speaker 1 suggests using breakups as a benchmark for the show, noting that breakups can be in various aspects of life, not just romantic relationships.
Discusses the difficulty of moving forward from long-term relationships and the impact of breakups.
Talks about transitions like leaving a job or emancipating from parents.
Highlights the fear and uncertainty associated with change and the importance of adapting.
Personal Experiences with Change
Speaker 1 shares personal experiences of leaving a job and the challenges faced.
Mentions the importance of taking opportunities for growth and the consequences of staying in unfulfilling situations.
Discusses the impact of leaving a comfortable job for a new opportunity and the lessons learned.
Emphasizes the need to find the courage to move on and make changes.
Overcoming Fear and Taking Action
Speaker 1 talks about overcoming fear, particularly fear of public speaking, and the importance of taking risks.
Shares a story about a job opportunity that turned out to be a bad experience but led to starting a business.
Discusses the importance of decisive action and the role of mental illness in making changes.
Emphasizes the need for self-love and the courage to make changes for personal growth.
The Importance of Self-Love and Gratitude
Speaker 1 stresses the importance of self-love and the ultimate win of loving oneself.
Discusses the role of gratitude in appreciating lessons learned from difficult experiences.
Highlights the importance of breath and the name of the show, "Breathe and Bounce."
Encourages listeners to believe in themselves and take action to make positive changes in their lives.
Living in the Moment and Embracing Change
Speaker 1 talks about the importance of living in the moment and embracing change.
Discusses the need to believe in oneself and take responsibility for one's life.
Emphasizes the importance of making decisions and taking action to move forward.
Encourages listeners to find the courage to turn the page and make changes for a better future.
 

FIGHTING THE MONSTER WHICH IS ME: How I Deal With the Hurt I Caused Others and Myself EPCLVI

Today I talk about the damage I have caused to people and for whatever reason, there is no good reason.  I talk about what made me become an angry person who didn't care about how I treated people and when did I finally decide that enough was enough and I had to hold myself accountable.
 
HIGHLIGHTS
"When you betray someone's trust, that's exactly what happens, is you have to start over. You have to try again. You have to understand that this time when you're starting over, it's kind of like—you're kind of like when you're lifting weights, you know, you're lifting up that weight and you're not getting stronger, you're just keeping things at an even level, trying to make things normal. So, it's kind of like that. Whenever you betray anyone, when it comes to addiction, when it comes to infidelity, when it comes to, you know, your temper, if someone gives you the chance, you have to meet them where they're at, and that is one of the things that I missed the boat on for the last 10 years of my relationship."
 
I think the real has been in the last five years where I've actually contemplated taking my life, and a lot of it is because it's very difficult for me to live with the things I've done to other people. It's been very difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror and say, hey, I like that guy. It's been very difficult for me to just be able to put one foot in front of the other, fearing that I'm going to make another bad decision in my life, right. So, the question is, How do you do it? And the way you do it is, you have to just go, you have to move forward. Those two words, the two words that I've been taught that I live and die by, are begin again, 
 
 

BOUNDARIES ARE SO PLEASING: How people pleasing isn't serving us, and how boundaries will EPCLV

This week I talk about the need for boundaries and how we people please so much it hurts us and really doesn't help the people we are trying to please.  I talk about my own personal experiences when I betrayed others and myself to make people happy and not have people dislike me more than they already did.  I talk about finding yourself and pleasing yourself and saving that giving to the ones who truly deserve it.
 
HIGHLIGHTS
 
Now, you might be someone in high school that's popular, and everyone loves you. You might be someone at work that is the cool guy or the cool girl that everyone wants to hang out with, go hang out at the water cooler, go have some drinks, go do a bunch of shit, right? That might be the case, but the truth of the matter is, are they your friends? Are these people your friends? Are these running buddies that you're hanging with right now? You have to ask yourself this question, because at the end of the day, you need to find people that are going to elevate you, and when I say elevate you, I don't mean just tell you that you're cool, but actually make you want to do good things and support you when you do things, but you see, here's the thing, and this is the problem that we run into so much in our lives, is we are afraid, we are afraid of being rejected, we are afraid of being alone, we are afraid of being less than we are afraid of all these things, and most of the time these things come up because why, because of our upbringing, because of our childhood experiences, because of the things that we, we experienced when we were younger, and those experiences follow us throughout our life. 
 
So we'll do anything, and then sometimes when people are mean to us, then we do things to try to get them to stop. We try to offer things, we try to do things, that's kind of what we did as kids, and unfortunately that behavior kind of led us to where we're at today. It definitely led me. I'm going to talk a little bit about a few things with me, and it's going to be hard for me to talk about, because I, it's just falling into that bubble of truth. Trying to impress people, trying to make people like you, trying to show people I'm this person, and you need to like me, right? I have been so guilty of that throughout my whole life.

MICHAEL IN THE RAW: How to take ownership of your feelings and your life EpCLIV

 I just got back from Civana again and although it was very needed and necessary, the day I returned I was broken.  I went there to try to put some things together and I thought I was leaving there in a good place.  Turns out that wasn't the case as I fell apart a day later.  So I talk about that along with many things on my mind.  It is FUCKING HEAVY.  Fair warning.
 
HIGHLIGHTS
 
So then, when I came back, some things happened with my business, and it was pretty messy. It was pretty fucked up. We made some huge mistakes as a company, and I'm saying we, because the buck starts with me. If any of the people working for me make a mistake, I have to own that. I have to own that for whatever reason. Maybe they were not prepared, maybe they are not committed, and I didn't see it. Maybe whatever, but we had a lot of shit go down, and we had our busiest for my company, Huntley Hills. We had our busiest day ever. We actually had 39 orders, and unfortunately, I was not able to handle it all, because we had situations that happened beyond our control.
I wanted to help men become more sure of themselves, and I met a dude at Savannah, his name's Anton, who does that kind of work, and I talked to him a little bit after the class we took, which was my last class there, which was a very invigorating class, because it made me believe the person I want to be, and not even, I didn't even leave the state yet, and I was already feeling kind of shitty,
when you are an abusive man, and then you fucking have the aftermath of it, and this is if you are someone that does have a heart and does feel compassion and is contrite, it isn't easy to walk through life and say that you are a good person when you think about the things you've done, and then you have people telling you, well, you are a good person, but it's like you don't know me, you really don't know who I am, and you don't know my history, and you don't know my whole story, and I feel like if I do tell you my story, you're gonna run away from me,

EPISODE CLIII: THE STUCKNESS

 I talk about my experience about being a juror today.  In 50 years they finally got me, those bastards.  However, I find a way like I always do to bring it back to mental health, stability ,mindfulness, and all those things we talk about on this show. It's a fun listen to me ranting about the jury shit.  However, I talk about what kept me going through that as well as what keeps me going in life.

EPISODE CLII: THE JOURNEY OF 50 AND BEYOND

 As I turned 50 this week, I take a look back at my life as whole.  The good and the bad and examine where do I go next.  Where can we all find common ground with the person we were and the person we are now.  Finding those good parts we had, and merging them with the person we are now.  Letting go of things that don't serve us.  This is my battle.  This is my aim.  I want to be the best I can be, every day.  So come on and do it with me stoner!!!!!

EPISODE CLI: HIGH SCHOOL, HELL, AND HIGH FIVES

People like to say high school is the best time of your life.  Well first I would say tell that to the Yellowjackets.  Secondly, mine sucked.  So I will talk about it in great detail here.  And if you are a high school graduate, you might want to check this shit out.  I promise you will be able to relate and walk away with strong feelings.  

EPISODE CL: THE DISAPPOINTING MAN

May is always hard for me, and it has been hitting me hard.  People I love don't receive me the way I want them to because of my actions in the past.  I acknowledge it and I talk about the complicated relationship I have had with people, especially women.  It 's because of my insecure and anger and I have to deal with it so I talk about that along with other stuff that's heavy.